I really feel like calling in to work-I just don’t think I can make it 10 hours without a nap or at least laying down for a few minutes. But it is the weekend and finding a replacement for my shift will be next to impossible. I can tell myself that I will only work a few hours but it never seems to work out like that. I feel so bad. The fatigue is actually worse than the stiffness. I am also dealing with the fact that my hands have been visually swollen for over a week now and are getting stiffer and more swollen each passing day. Every effort to pick something up, turn something, ect is becoming painful and increasingly difficult.
Its days like these that I feel helplessness that sneaks up on those of us with chronic diseases. I feel RA’s grimy little fingers touching every aspect of my life right now. Today is one of those days I wish I could just climb back in bed and wait for tomorrow. But life isn’t like that. I do have the ability to move and so I shall. I will load up on caffeine and will myself to work. My will must carry me through this day-because otherwise I just don’t have it in me to do anything today.